GUD: Great Underwear Debate
by Vanessa S. Quest
Summary: If anyone asks why I put Fantasy on here, they obviously have no idea about what MY fantasies are.


Jessie: Guess what!  my little cousin has some Jonny Quest glowin the dark    
underware  
Oh, this is mine for the list. I get to have fun with it  
Vanessa: ...eh... cool?  
Vanessa: heh~ You want a pair too, doncha~  
Jessie: Well uh.......  
Jessie:    Announcer: "What kind of underware does Jonny wear?"  
Jessie:"He wears his special, glow in the dark undies!!!"  
        Jonny: "Jess, shut up!"  
        Jessie: "NO! the public deserves to know."  
        Jonny: "No they don't!"  
        Jessie: "Yeah they do!"  
*Jonny proceeds to beat the crud out of Jessie*  
  
Vanessa: ::laughs::  
Jessie: "Jonny wears glow in the dark undies!  Jonny wears glow in the dark   
undies! Jonny wears glow in the dark undies!  Jonny wears glow in the dark   
undies!"  
Vanessa: "As I was saying, boxers..."  
Vanessa: *Jonny keeps beating her*  
Vanessa: ::Smirks:: Yeah, I could see that~  
Jessie: *keeps laughing*  Hey I think I will do this for the list.  
Jessie: wonder the replies  
Vanessa: heh heh heh  
Vanessa: Lesli's not here, but Ina may have some fun reliving the underwear debate  
Vanessa: I think Hadji wears a thong  
Vanessa: ::vomits::  
Vanessa: (j/k)  
Jessie: hmmm..  
Jessie: Wanna relaunch the debate?  
Jessie: I think we could have more fun  
Vanessa: Hells yeah, I wasn't there before though~  
Vanessa: Yes we could.  
Vanessa: OoooOOOoo!  
Jessie: okay.  lets do it.  
  
The Great Underwear Debate  (relived and otherwise known as "G. U. D.")  
  
::In interviewer's voice::  
  
Jackie Fleisch: "Inside the Quest Compound, is Sports Night live, I am   
Jackie Fleisch here with the hottest debate... world renouned Quest Team... we ask you...  Boxers, or Briefs... or other?"  
  
Jackie Fleisch: "Our first victim... I mean, interviewy is Jessie Bannon"  
Jessie Bannon: "Hello oh great announcer person"  
Jackie Fleisch: "So, the question on everyone's mind... (especially Jonny's)   
What is under your pants?"  
Jackie Fleisch: "Bikini?"  
Jessie Bannon: "Huh?"  
Jackie Fleisch: "Or Commando?"  
Jackie Fleisch: "Victoria Secrets... or KMart?"  
Jessie Bannon: "Well, personally, I do like bikini. I own 5 pair!   I really like Wal-mart's.  They have such fun one's"  
Jackie Fleisch: "Animal Print?"  
JessieBannon: "No way, I am a total advocate of no animal print.  Even if   
its fake.  Don't want to give season 3 writers any ideas."  
Jackie Fleischt: "So, do you oppose leather? Young Jonny Quest... I mean   
*viewers* want to know"  
Jessie Bannon: "Oh, yes, I most definitely despise leather."  
Jackie Fleisch: "Poor boy... viewers"  
Jackie Fleisch: "And what's your view on frilly pink lace?"  
Jackie Fleisch: "Frilly green lace?"  
Jessie Bannon: "Excuse me!  *runs to bathroom and vomits. Comes back.*  pink   
frilly lace makes me sick. Green lace? Well, depends how frilly..."  
Jackie Fleisch: "Medium in frill, dear, like Fredricks of Hollywood"  
Jessie Bannon: "Hmm.. If I had them.  Yes."  
Jackie Fleisch: "Well, then, what style bikini underwear do you wear,   
camoflage?"  
Jessie Bannon: "Camo, kool flannel prints, green....  Just what i think is   
kool, and some that my father would die if he found out I had them."  
Jackie Fleisch: "Perfect... Well there you have it, the Jessie Bannon   
collection! Truly as classy as she!"  
Jackie Fleisch: "Now on to Hadji!"  
  
Hadji Singh: "Hello, I am Hadji, why did you just throw my friend to the   
ground and chase after me with a camera?"  
Jackie Fleisch: "Well, its your turn for the torture.... I mean, the   
interview"  
Hadji Singh: "Interview? Are you from the Bangalore Press?"  
Jackie Fleisch: Uh... Yeah, Yes I am, your sultanbabyness.  
Hadji Singh: "That is sultan..."  
Hadji Singh: "...are you SURE you are from the Bangalore Press, you look,   
rather familiar..."  
  
Jackie Fleisch: "Umm.  Yeah, I'm from the Bangalor Press.  We just started a   
new tv show.  So.... Down to the dirt. I mean News. What kind of underwear do you wear? Zin twins! Lock the doors in case he trys to escape!"  
  
Hadji: "Um..." ::nervous twitch:: "We are outside..."  
Hadji: "My... underwhat?!"  
Hadji: ::Sees threatening looking thugs::  
Jackie Fleisch: "Yeah, well uh.... Your underware, dear.  Underware.     
Boxers?  Or  Briefs.  Or, ah... Camando?"  
Hadji: "Ok, ok, I surrender... My gulp underwear, is... Coral Red boxers,   
sometimes a ...leather... thong, but mostly nothing at all."  
Hadji: "I know, I know, leather?! But it feels good!"  
Jackie Fleisch: OOOh!  I like!  But Sultan-baby!  In your country, aren't   
cattle sacred?  
Hadji: "Yes, but that is why it is Venice Italian Leather, only the best   
quality deer shall do..."  
Jackie Fleisch: ::sighs and stares at him::  ::Smiles::  
Hadji: ::Nervous laughter:: "Heh... heh... Oh Jonny! Let me help your father   
in the lab... someone's at the door for you..."  
Jackie Fleisch: "Well, I think the girls are gonna have fun with this episode.  Hey can you show us?"  
Hadji: ::runs off:: ::scurry::  
Jackie Fleisch: "Wait!!!!"  
Jackie Fleisch: "Oh, well.  Now on to JQ"  
  
::as reporter runs after Hadji she smacks into Jonny::  
  
Jonny Quest: "Hey! Watch it..."  
Jackie Fleisch: "Oh, um.  Sorry."  
Jonny Quest: "Hey! Oh Man, this is so cool, you're Jackie Fleisch!"  
JQ: "I *love* your show, especially the specials."  
Jackie Fleisch: "Yes I am.  And you are Jonny Quest Right?"  
JQ: ::winks::  
Jackie Fleisch: "Well, we are doing a special on your team..."  
JQ: "Yup, that I am... so why are you here, to find out about the mysterious   
color changing hair?"  
Jackie Fleisch: "No, actually... I'm here to find out what kind of Underware   
you wear, if any."  :smirks:  
Jackie Fleisch: "Boxers, briefs, thong, g string, nada?"  
JQ: "To... oh... What was Jessie's answer?"  
Jackie Fleisch: "Well I asked the first question."  
JQ: "...Fine, well... my underwear, is this on the record or off?"  
JQ: "On record, I wear boxer shorts and boxer shorts alone..."  
Jackie Fleisch: "And for off?"  
Jackie Fleisch: :bites lip:  
JQ: Off record... ::Smirks:: "I have special boxers that glow in the dark!   
But they are top secret and TOO special for the world to know   
about... and they have this cute little lace leggins..."  
Jackie Fleisch: :eyebrows go up:  
JQ: "But, what was Jessie's answer?"  
JQ: ::sees reporter finically writing down last statement:: "Hey!"  
  
Jackie Fleisch: "Well....  Jessica's answer was..."  
Jackie Fleisch: "Umm. That's all for this Episode of ....."  
JQ: "HEY! Come back here!" ::chases after her::  
Jackie Fleisch: "Whats that George?  OH!  we need more okay!"  
  
::Reporter runs off like heck:: ::Runs into first room she sees, a lab::  
  
Jackie Fleisch: "Why... hello... Race!"  
Jackie Fleisch: ::Bright smile::  
Race Bannon: "Oh crad, its that freaky reporter chick."  
Jackie Fleisch: "I'm Jackie Fleisch, we've met once before, in Mongolia."  
Race Bannon: "What do you want this time?"  
Jackie Fleisch: "Freaky? I resemble that remark!"  
Jackie Fleisch: "Why what all hot blooded Americans want, a patriotic   
story..."  
Jackie Fleisch: "...and whats more patriotic then finding out our nation's   
heroes... preferences... in..."  
Jackie Fleisch: "UNDERWEAR!"  
Jackie Fleisch: "So, Race, thousands want to know... Boxers, Briefs, Bikini,   
Commando?"  
Jackie Fleisch: ::Locks the door::  
Jackie Fleisch: "And no escaping me this time!"  
Race Bannon: "WHAT!!!?   Fur on a catfish!"  
Jackie Fleisch: "Fur?!"  
Jackie Fleisch: "Woah, you and Hadji have a lot in common..."  
Race Bannon: "Huh?!"  
Jackie Fleisch: "Oh, wait, that wasn't your answer."  
Jackie Fleisch: "Now, Race, the answer, don't make me use the truth syrum   
again."  
Jackie Fleisch: "You know how bad I am with needles..."  
Race Bannon: "I um...  NO not that again!"  
Jackie Fleisch: ::Camera shows picture of deformed stitch up doll made by   
young Jackie, with seven arms from one opening::  
Jackie Fleisch: ::smiles:: "Then answer for America!"  
Race Bannon: "Fine!"  ::looks at floor and mummbles incoherently::  
Jackie Fleisch: "Speak up!"  
Jackie Fleisch: "Or should we check?  Come on Race, don't be difficult!"  
Jackie Fleisch:  ::Picks up strange device from Dr. Quest's desk:: "Hmm...   
ultra magnet... I wonder..."  
  
Race Bannon: "Well...". ::puts hands on belt.... turns around.... Drops em!::  
Race Bannon: "CAMMANDO!!!!!!"  
Jackie Fleisch: "BLECK! MIKE TURN OFF THE CAMERA!"  
Jackie Fleisch: ::Bob does a quick zoom then turns off the camera:: "Woah,   
this footage'll prove Lesli's Rachel/Race theory in a heart beat!"  
Jackie Fleisch: "ALEX! I said turn it off now!"  
Race Bannon: ::puts pants back on::  "Well you wanted to know, Sweetheart."    
:Race grins:  
Jackie Fleisch: ::hits Joe with hammer::  
Jackie Fleisch: ::Takes out mace::  
  
Jackie Fleisch: "That's it!"  
Jackie Fleisch: ::Sprays Race then self::  
Race Bannon: "AWWWWWWOOOOOEADKLJ!!!!!!!!!"  
Jackie Fleisch: ::Flees to Dr. Quest's office::  
Jackie Fleisch: ::Finds Venus sitting in there, holding a baseball bat::  
  
Jackie: "Now we are in the ilLUSTrious office of Dr. Benton C. Quest"  
Venus: ::holds baseball bat:: "You again? How many times did I tell you, I   
will NEVER tell how many licks it takes to get to the center of a tootsie   
roll pop! The world isn't MEANT to hold such knowledge!"  
::Glares at reporter::  
Jackie Fleisch: "Oh I don't want that.... Its another episode."  
Venus: "Sure... like the last time..."  
Jackie Fleisch: "Could you tell me where I could find the good Dr.?"  
Venus: ::Takes out laser scope, puts it on the tip of the baseball bat::  
Venus: "...He's in the lighthouse..."  
Venus: "But if you ask him... he'll never tell you either!"  
Jackie Fleisch: "Ummmmmaaaa..... Okay.  Thanks Miss Venus..."  
Venus: "Miss?!"  
Jackie Fleisch: ::flees back to lighthouse::  
Venus: "I have a PhD!"  
Venus: ::Reporter flees out room, Venus just laughs::  
Jackie Fleisch: "Come on Tom keep up!"  
  
::Reporter gets jumped as she runs by a closet, is replaced by Meach   
Fleisck::  
  
::Meach is dressed exactly the same as Jackie runs over to Lighthouse with   
Larry::  
  
Meach: "Hello, I am Meach Fleisck, I mean... Jackie Fleisch, with News at   
11:04:30 seconds."  
  
Meach er umm. Jackie Fleisch: "Dr. Quest, we have a news brief of VITAL   
importance..."  
Jackie Fleisch: "Will you help us, to save the world!"  
Dr. Quest: "HUH?!"  
Dr. Q: "What's going on?"  
Jackie Fleisch: ::mutters:: "Because if you don't tell me what I want to   
know, the world goes," ::in heard voice:: "Oh, we have a diare debate that   
your input would be extremely useful and invaluable!"  
Dr. Q: "Well, go on..."  
Jackie Fleisch: "Will you help us?"  
Dr. Q: "Why not. I am a super genius!"  
Jackie Fleisch: "We need to know, Dr. Quest, for the world... Boxers or   
Briefs?!"  
Dr. Q: ::chokes::  
Jackie Fleisch: "Tell us, speedos?"  
Jackie Fleisch: "bikini?"  
Jackie Fleisch: "me?"  
Dr. Q: "Umm.  oh no!  not the Great Underware Debate again!"  
Jackie Fleisch: "boxers..."  
Dr. Q: "Ummmmma"  
Jackie Fleisch: "What do you wear to bed at night?"  
Jackie Fleisch: "Inquiring minds want to know..."  
Dr. Q: "You're never gonna leave me alone are you?"  
Jackie Fleisch: "For world peace, the debate in Israel is BIBLICAL! If you   
can give us this solution, you'll solve world hunger!"  
Dr. Q: "BOXERS!!!!   Are you HAPPY?"  
Jackie Fleisch: "What color, what material?"  
Jackie Fleisch: ::Eyes grow::  
Dr. Q: "Well, actully, its the Boxer/breif kind.  they are so comfy!"  
Jackie Fleisch: "What color, what fabric, Dr. Quest... Benton, the world   
needs to know!" ::Wig falling to one side::  
Jackie Fleisch: "Nick, zoom in!"  
Dr. Q: "Black.  Good color.  All cotton.  Gotta breathe ya know."  
Dr. Q: "Hey!"  ::Notices the wig slip::  ::Thinks::*Oh no!  Its Meach again.   
Where's Race when I need him?* ::hides behind desk::  
Jackie Fleisch: "You heard it here first America, not like ANY of you are   
getting this footage!"  
  
::Meach mugs Chris and runs off with video cassette of "Underwear Debates"::  
  
::Jessie runs in, Dr. Quest still hiding behind desk::  
Dr. Q: "Jessie, what are you doing here?"  
Jessie: "Dr. Quest whats going on?"  
Dr. Q: ::Sits up in desk trying to look important::  
Dr. Q: "Oh, nothing, just another interview for World Peace..."  
Jessie: "I was checking to see if the reporter was in here yet?"  
Dr. Q: "Same old same old... Reporter..."  
Jessie: "okay....  You seem tense?"  
Dr. Q: "Yes... Meach Fleisck was here..."  
Jessie: "Oh, my.  uh oh."  
  
::Venus rushes in to the room::  
Jessie: "And she didn't kidnap you?  amazing!"  
Venus: "Meach Fleisck was here, and you didn't tell me!!!!" ::Venus said,   
looking for her::  
Venus: "Wait, where's Jackie Fleisch then?"  
  
::Dr. Quest looked perplexed:: "Who?"  
Jessie: "Uh, oh,  Iris!"  
Jessie: "Start search of Jackie Fleisch on compound"  
::thump noise comes from a desolate closet inside the compound::  
"Thump Thud!"  
Jackie Fleisch: "Mmmlet mmlme mout!"  
::Bandit growls at door::  
Jessie: ::runs up to coupound::  
Venus: "Jessie, wait up!"  
Jessie: "Okay!"  
  
::Venus runs after her, Dr. Quest staying behind::  
Venus: ::Catches up quickly::  
Jessie: "Okay on to the house"  
Venus: ::Runs over to room and gets laser aimed baseball bat::  
Jessie: "Venus?!"  
Venus: "Ok, ready!"  
Venus: "What... last time she tried to steal top secret information!"  
Jessie: "Its okay Bandit."  ::opens closet door::  
  
::reporter falls to ground, found with edible underwear gag in mouth::  
  
Jessie: "Are you okay?"  
  
::Venus lifts her up::  
  
Venus "Jessie, if you would be so kind..."  
Jessie: "Huh?"  
Jackie Fleisch: "...yes... after I found out this was one of your pair from the   
secret stash..."  
Jackie Fleisch: "If your father finds these, I'll get the Pulitzer for sure!"  
Jessie: "Well it was gonna be a gift to my friend Napolean..."  
::Venus looks to Jessie who's face seemed to match her hair perfectly in   
shade::  
Jessie: "Its not mine really!"  
Venus: "Napolean..." ::Venus smirked:: "Does Jonny know?"  
Venus: "If not, can I tell him?!"  
Jessie: "Napolean wants a pair for her boyfriend."  
Venus: "Oh, it's a girl..." ::Venus and reporter snap in disappointment::  
Jessie: "Sorry to get your hopes up!"  
Jessie: "Anywayz..."  
Venus: "Eh, oh well, back to searching for bro's April Fools gift."  
Jessie: "Hey Jackie, do you want some really good proof..."  
Jackie Fleisch: "Of what?!" ::Jackie said excitedly::  
  
Jessie: "Follow me!"  
Jessie: ::leads the way to the laundry room::  
::Venus drags Jackie over to laundry room::  
Jessie: "Where's camera boy?"  
Venus: "Ya know, Jess, I think I'm the only one who escaped her wrath of the   
underwear debates..."  
Venus: "Oh, he got pummeled, I'll film it."  
::Venus drops Jackie and picks up camera::  
Jessie: "Okay...."  
Venus: "Jonny's, right?"  
Venus: ::Zooms in for a shot of the drier::  
Jessie: "Yeppers."  :turns off lights Jonny's glow in the dark boxers glow   
bright::  
  
Jessie: "Cool huh?"  
Venus: "That's just not right... wouldn't that have some damaging effects   
long term?!" ::Venus says as zooming in to the spiderman prints::  
Jessie: "Wait?  Spiderman?"  
Venus: "Oh Merry Christmas and Happy New Year am I getting a nice present   
this year..."  
Jessie: ::drops the drawers to the floor::  
Jessie: "These aren't Jonny's!"  
Venus: ::loud laughter eminates from the room::  
Venus: "Yours?"  
Jessie: "NO!"  
Venus: "Who's then?"  
Jessie: "When was the last time Rage was here?"  
  
Venus: "Three days ago...  Since when did we do HIS laundry!"  
JessieBannon1: "EWWWWWWWW!" ::runs and dumps a bottle of sterlizing alcohol on   
her hands::  
  
::Reporter runs away in terror::  
Venus: "No, no, Jess, wait, those aren't spider man..."  
Jessie: "Huh?"  
Venus: "Those are Barbie, they are Jonny's!"  
Jessie: "Oh yeah....  I forgot."  
Jessie: "Oh yeah, here are Dr. Q's."  ::holds up pink frilly, lacy underware::  
  
  
Vanessa: ~End.~  
Jessie: End?  
Vanessa: ok~  
Jessie: yeah  
Vanessa: you like it?  
Jessie: So story done?  
Vanessa: yeah~  
Jessie: okay...  
Jessie:  I wonder... What will Meach say when she reads it? 


End file.
